dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
