When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
