sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
