you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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