i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
