laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
