wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
