Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
