Screwed.edu
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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