Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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