Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
