I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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