Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
