I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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