If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do herpes really smell.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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