just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize