I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
