i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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