I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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