But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
