I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
