Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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