Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
