How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
