i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
