Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just puked most of my soul out..
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
