Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
