Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
