I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize