i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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