I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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