I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
