How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
