I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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