Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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