You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
