god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Randomize
