So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
