I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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