yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize