ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
