he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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