u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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