If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i think my cat just said my name.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
