My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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