I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
