I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
