Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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