i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
