Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
