The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
