its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
