Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
