living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
