Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
