so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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