btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
