Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
