isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize