I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
