I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
