And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
