I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
