I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
