ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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