Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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