:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
