well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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