You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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