another moral hangover. fuck.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
