needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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