I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
