How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
