And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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