u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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