Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
