Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
