she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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