actually, I'm a sock model
Me too!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
